Khayalan Sang Puteri

2010-03-30T09:24:00.002+08:00

life has been really suck lately....problems kip rising after one another...
yesterday...my aunt who is oso the guarantor for my edu oan...had to pay for the loan as the bank rep call her up....i was so paiseh...been trying to hide all my prob frm her but end up she found out...stupid bank officer! juz bcoz i didnt ans ur call for once u go n call her up! stupid!

thnx to aunt...1 problem down another 2 to go!

lets put aside all those probs coz all this make me more headache and i repeat again MORE HEADACHE!!!!! duh!

March cuming to end tomoro....since this 2010...i tot life gonna get better....but hmmmm....atleast it gettin abit better den 2009! but on feb2010...mark my 1 year anniversary of being unemployed as a full time worker! but atleast i am my mum's full time maid~! hahahahahah.....

the month of march has been like a "kawin2" month for me....every wkend there's a wedding to attend...all the pictures is in my facebook acct! check it out aitez!

life wif new job has been goin kindda well for me...but im unsure wether to continue as full time or shld i find new job....i badly need a job now! but waiting for my result is like waitin for death sentence! hopefully i can make it!

sch is done now waiting for result...finding new job...hmmm....finding new bf!!! hahahahahahaha......

bloggin bout bf... i tink i hav the so called jinx dat attracts divorcee sia!!! all the guys dat i juz got to know is either already divorce or getting divorce or on process of divorcin...... WTH!!!! ANDDDD....the are all over 29 yrs of age...haiya....sum are even older den my 1st brudder! juz wat the hell is happening sia??? ware are all the singles guyz!!! all the single guys pls put ur hands up!!!!

enuff bout boys...lets move to gurls!!!!!

my gurlfrensssss!!!!!! i juz miss them so much!!!! jk gurlfren ike yani,syura and clara..miss hanging out wif them..... and my buddy...yuni,ash n has....miss them lots!!! its been so long since i last meet them....i hav to find time to meet them...if i dunt initiate to meet up...all of them will kip quiet...coz all of us are bz with our daily life.....but this time round...its will be ONLY GIRLS DAY OUT!!! its not dat i dunt want them to bring their bf...i'll feel awkward....coz im the only single left! hahahahahahahah....sounds pathetic huh....but im not dat pathetic....im proud to be a single and im ready to mingle!!!! hahahahahahahaha

enuff for bullshitin for now....will continue wen i got time to bullshit summore....hahahahaha......

chiowz bebeh!!!!
luv ya all...
senorita signing outz!

welcome 2010!

2010-01-23T20:38:00.002+08:00

it has already been the 23rd day in 2010....n i noe i didnt update lots on this blog.....sorry darla....

the whole mth of dec09 is a challenging mth for me...firstly...hairi...the the guy dat i've been giving much thots of...betray my trust for him....he's actually sumone's bf even way b4 he be my bf....guess how heart broken i feel bout it....i dunt noe wat to say...i found bout it on fb...and i demand his explaination....he said dat i found out bout it way b4 he told me....and it happen exactly on our 1mth 5 days of rship....i was so devastated....aft giving him trust dat he gain way b4 we were together...the love...it all went down the drain....haiz....but after all the emotional rides i decided to move on eventhou he really wants me to stay....to me...its either me or her...

2ndly..christmas was spend at liana's solemnization day wif deen....was super happy for you buddy....i wish u all te best in sailing the marriage ship....wen can i get a god-dotter or god-son???? hahahahahahaha

3rdly....the most happiest moment of all.....guess who text me on imesh....reading my past post...surely u all will noe who...."dari kerana mataaaa...." or "dua insan sedang bercinta....dua insan berjanji setia..." hahahahahaha.....remember tis songs???? lol....its him!!!! yes....yan text me on imesh and we talk till 5am dat night....and guez wat....i make the 1st move to ask him to join me for countdown n he aggreed!!!!! hahahahahaha.....i was super duper happy......

we went to countdown 2010 at marina platform....got tix frm DM...theres me,yan,naddy n ian...yan drove daddy's car....the most scariest moment of my life is wen naddy n yan main amazing race dlm carpark marina sq...juz to get out of dat carpark quickly....we were stuck at basement lvl...alot of cars honkin on each other....there is even accident happens in the carpark k....we selit2 our way to reach exit to lvl 1 den carpark exit.....i pray hard that there wont be anything happen to daddy's car....im sure gonna get it frm him.....aft we made our way out....went to railway for supper...yan bully me! mcm siak....hahahahaha.....but i really enjoy my day....eventhou wen we went for our dinner at beach road kita kene tipu....but i was so happy to spend it wif my loved ones....tapi yan bukan ah....hahahahaha.....aft supper we thot wanna lepak at henderson wave but since yan n me werkin mornin...we decided to go home...nad drove all the way to wdlnd to send ian back den yan continue to drive nad home...aft sendin nad home...he send me n the car home lah kan....if not how he wanna go home coz his bike at my place....

aft dat day we kindda close....thou i noe dat abg aim dunt like it....but i find yan is a gentleman...he called abg aim to inform him dat we going out but too bad abg dunt trust him....hahahahahaha......

last but not least....luvin my 241 hotline peepz n jk peepz...hotline peeps only nitty,zee,mir,zaid and faiz lah...coz the others sux big times! n jk peepz obviously will be yani,syura and clara and sum of the riders oso ah...*only the gereeek ones*!!!! they are fun ppl to be with! luv dem...

below i will update lots of pix dat happen on my end 2009 and sum are on 2010 pix... njoyssssss.......

2009-12-12T00:25:00.002+08:00

aft much thots...wif LB missin in action...i've decided to giv it a try with hairi...
aft thinkin, analyzin.. i decide to be with hairi.

hairi...the guy whom waited patiently for me to make decision is the guy who now makin me falling in luv with him evry single day....

he moved my heart win sincerity n patience...without fail tryin to convince me dat he will take care of me....

one thing i like bout him is dat...he's firm...and dats wat i want in a guy. coz being the spoilt bratz mummy's gal...i always merajuk bout the silliest thing sumtimes. he's the kind of guy who stands for his rights!

hmmm....all i can say is dat im happy now....syukur of wat Allah has given me...his guardian angel who can protect n care for me.....Alhamdulillah....pray tat this r'ship will work!

ps: one thing im not happy is dat he so damn taller sia....im below his shoulder!!!!

2009-11-15T21:17:00.002+08:00

i've loved and lost LB...even without tellin him bout my feeling.... ARGH!!!!

on my way home frm werk juz now...i've planned wat i wanna tell him...i wanna CONFESSED!!! yes...me..confessin my luv to sumone...its sooo not me sia.... so i reach home switch on lappy n log on to msn....1st person dat i look for is LB... he's ONLINE!!! and wen i pm him and say hi...no rply.... :( saw his PM on msn, "Am i making such a big mistake that she had to leave me????"...suddenly tears flowing frm my eyes....my mind kip saying dat i'll lose him....am i losing him??? even b4 i told him bout my feelings??? haiz....

my tears juz wont stop flowing even wen im bloggin now...

y it's happening to me wen started to luv dat sumone, he will always be attracted to sumone else n im losing him or he doesnt even have feelings for me and only treat me as his rebound rship....wtf! i juz hate the feeling... i juz hate the feeling of fallin in luv n losing even b4 the ship start to sail....hate it!!!!!

for now...shld i continue to hope for LB or shld i giv up?

2009-11-12T20:49:00.002+08:00

i wanna scream out loud~~!!! i wanna let out evrything dat has been touturing my mind lately...!!! y cant ppl accept changes?? or y can the be happy seeing their frens changing to a better ones.... i juz dunt noe y....

******

msn-ing wif dee yesterday...was askin him wether hav he ever luv me wen were were together a year plus ago...and he said yes...im kindda like dont believe wat he said coz...if sumone truly luv u...obviously u can feel it rite? but with him i dunno...i dunno y... i noe im nearly like goin crazy tryin to forget him n moving on with life but i juz cant....i try to luv other guys or like other guys but he still in my mind... i miss being in his arms...eventhou we didnt noe each other quite long but we r virtual fren for quite sumtimes....i still remember noeing him from ANAKMELAYU.COM ...

aft mths of exchanging calls n sms...we finally mit up....after the 1st mit...i dunno y...wen he ask me to be his gf i was like...OK..its like so easy for me to accept him...even thou we seldom mit...still we call or text each other as often as possible...both of us was werking in the shift line last tym....me in the call cnter n he in the nightlife line....i was kindda not agree wif his job actually....wich girls would want her boifie to be surrounded by girls! hisshhh!

as days goes by...we start to get super bz wif werk...no mit ups for mths...and he oso seldom return any of my calls or sms....i was super fucked up!im angry wif him... one of the wkend morning i call him up aft my nite shift...n usually he's already back home and about going to slp...but today...i feel uneasy wen i call him....1st 2 calls went unanswered...i text him....no rply....i call him again...den the nightmare started...a girl pick up his fone...i put down w/o saying anyting...den i called again coz i tot i dialled the wrong num earlier on...a girl picked up the fone...the same girl...den i ask...who is she...she said his fren...i ask ware were them...and guess wat...she juz say like as if nutin is wrong..."we r at pangkeng n he's aslp". i was like WTF!..put down the fone and i cried.. i noe dat dis thing gonna happen sooner or later but i didnt xpect it to happen during our 2mthsary... my intention to call him was to suprised him at his place but end up im the one getting suprised! fuck!!from dat day...i totally ignore him...i was so angry...coz he didnt even explain or appologize..so wen im cooled down...i text him for the break up....

but few mths aft the break up...we kip in touch again...i wasnt hoping for him at dat tym...coz i tried to forget bout him but i cant...so wen he came back to my life as a fren...i was sooo happy....i start to pinned up hopes on him....was hoping for him to changed for the better....now he no longer werkin in nitelife...he found a stable job n already changed his bike...

and yesterday while msning wif him....he said "of coz i still luv u...u crazy girl!" den i said " yes i nearly gone mad trying to forget bout us...bout u! bout wat u did! i can forgive but to forget? i dunno" den he suddenly said "den y dunt u cum back to me?" i was like WTF... r u crazy...trying to fool me? he said dat he wasnt playin a prank...but to me...i was so happy wen he said dat...but is he really sincere in askin me to cum back? im still thinkin bout it...

today was suppose to mit him up to talk bout tis...nid sum explanation frm him thou but he paitao...he bubble again...at 1st wen he was about to go out...heavy rain start to pour...den i demand him to cum but thinkin bout his ways of riding i said dunt cum...he said call him back in 15min to see wether the rain will stop or not....but end up he fall aslp n make me wait at werk like fool! stupid arse!! so angry wif him today!

so now...while bloggin...i kip thinkin of wether shld i giv him any chances? i dunt wanna get heartbroken AGAIN!
********

y..wen we luv dat sumone....its hard for us to get him....but wen we dunt luv dat sumone...he will start to beggin for us?

izzit true dat be with sumone dat luvs u is better den sumone u luv...????

and...if u luv sumthing...let it go coz it was never meant to be yours and if its cuming back to u...it was meant to be yours? izzit true???

2009-11-11T16:39:00.002+08:00

Thnx LamBaby for spending the nite wif me yesterday....

we went to changi beach lepak2...den after dat slow drive back home....i juz dunt noe y i cant say wat i wanted to say to him.....i've been wanting to talk bout sumting but it juz wont cum out....argh!!! geram!!!!

its been months since we lost contact as he forget to save my num n i dunt have his new num....he seldom online coz he always slp like a pig on his off day....hehehehe.....he's indeed a good fren....its been years since we noe each other....i ever once nearly fall in luv with him but i stop myself coz i dunt want to spoilt the frenship dat we hav....n futhurmore im afraid of having any commitment at dat moment....so yes...we r fren...a close fren indeed...ya we call names like "dear", "baby", "syg" and such but its juz due to our closeness as a fren....

yesterday...during the slow drive back home.....we stop at tampines road to find stars...hahahahaha i noe its stupid.....but deres ware u can find open sky wif no high building~! while we were talking outside the car...he received a call...ada ker patut dia kata dia nak antar barang kat amk....do i look like a package to him....???? so wen he put down the fone i ask....den he said he's juz joking to make me smile as since we reach dat place im kindda quiet...i was like wadda heck!!! im kiping quiet coz the place mcm eerie....den im angry coz he said like dat...nak joke pon agak2 ah baby....skali aku sidekick!! heheehehehhe......

but i had fun wif him maybe coz i miss him lot ah....but my pipi bengkak seh asik kene cubit!!! walauwei...domestic violent tau tu....hahahahaha....takpe baby...next tym u plak kene!

~semakin aku cuba menjauhkan perasaan ku padamu....semakin kau dekat dgn hatiku ini...~

2009-11-04T00:06:00.002+08:00

juz came back frm visiting kak lydia at her place @ bedok den went for supper with mummy, ayah n iwan.

otw to kak lydia's place...i text isham...kindda feel bad coz ignore him for last few wks....sory sham...im juz stress up with things at home and work....

i've been forcing maself to make my decision on who shld i juz stick to...aku taknak mengecikkn hati sesape....those dat currently close to me seems dunt care bout how i feel....only to bacin dat i manage to share things.... thnx bacin for being here for ur "sista"....hhahahaha....he called me sista coz im older den him by 2 yrs...siakkn si bacin nie...buat aku terasa tua!

now..im stressed up on how i shld i make my decision....aku tak smpi hati utk mengecewakan hati sesapa...ckup lah jika hanya aku yg terluka tapi bukan yg lain.....aku tak ingin mereka sakit hati dan jauh hati dgn ku.... aku mengerti bahwa ini semua salahku....salah sifat manjaku...kerna kemanjaan ku ini aku seperti menipu perasaan mereka....tapi itu bukan niatku....tidak pernah terlintas utk aku mempermainkan mereka semua.....

aku buntu harus berbuat apa....kusut fikiranku.....

2009-10-31T09:16:00.003+08:00

today is my dearest mummy's bday!!!

even thou she's gettin on ma nerves evryday...she still the best mummy in the whole wide world!!! i luv her soooo much!

so wat shall i cook for her today???since she didnt wanna go out to celebrate...we plan for a small celebration at home....my family together with the 2 munchkin plus 1 giant munchkin(eva)...n maybe mama min family.....

i hope evryting going to be well today....I JUZ WANT HIM TO SAY SORRY TO MUMMY!

gtg now...gonna fetch eva the giant munchkin and nayla n nayli the 2 lil munchkin!

2009-10-27T17:38:00.003+08:00

hari raya have passed...
depavali oso hav passed...
now i blog my thot away...

ppl has been asking me on wen im gonna get maself a bf...i was lyk WTF!!! im still young...dunt nid to pressure me to get a bf,get hitched n married...i dunt wanna make a wrong decision...i dunt want anymore heart breaking moments...had enuff of it...so im taking thing one at a tym...explore the men's world n wen im ready i'll make my decision...

i have a few guy frens whom im closed with...but so far...none of them can proved to me dat they can take care of me...or even luv me whole heartedly....and...i dunt tink NONE of them willing to mit mum the most harmful person or even the less harmless person who is my 1st bro n sis in law...heheheheh....

none of them were there wen im in nid of a shoulder to cry on....my bff-ASH is there...n bacin were there to wen i was soooo down last 3 days....lucky bacin cannot be shortlisted coz he's too young to be ma future hubby....hahahaha.....

2009-10-07T23:22:00.002+08:00

last wk was my most tiring week.....my wkend burn juz like dat..... my wkdays frm mon till wed have to sent mum to urut den went to umah bik oni to help her clean and packing up things.....she's moving out...

if not bcoz of her n kak tini...dunt tink i'll help seh....seeing abg amy juz look at us packing up n cleanin evryting...darah aku naik jek tgk dia melepak...geram giler seh....

my sat oso the same....help him moving things to his new house....lau pinggang n kaki aku ni bleh berkata kata...dia dah menjerit mintak tlg seh....bingit siak tgk dia....nak keje senang jek....step sakit pinggang...padahal dia angkat semua ringan2 nyer bende...geram3....hish!!!!

but my sun is the most wonderfool day!!!! jalan raya wif the bilis geng! hehehehe....had so much fun n laffter...pix already uploaded on FB!!!

2009-10-02T00:16:00.002+08:00

i juz dunt understand y sum ppl juz cant see wen sumone else is betta off den them or anyting lah....

typical malay sickness! PHD = Perangai Hasad Dengki...

juz dunt noe wat went wrong....or wat had happen behind my back....suddenly they outcast me....WTF!!!

aku nyer org...lau aku wat salah tanpa disengajakan...n kau tak happy...ckp dpn2...jgn mcm budak2 nak main geng tak geng..sindir2...nak buang2 muka...lau dulu tym skola primary sch...bleh lar....nie korg semua da besar siak....fikir dgn matang skit ah!

haiz....typical mlayu semua nie mcm....nnt satu org tak suka...dia jalan jarum kat semua org...so semua org leh outcast kan yg sorg lagik ah....apa nyer manusia!

i juz dunt understand tis kind of ppl! malas aku nak layan....skarang aku tau...rutin aku pi keje,uat keje,alik,tido! aku da tak kuasa ah nak campor2 hal2 org...sesungguhnya disekeliling aku nie bnyk mata dan telinga! sedangkan aku rasa blog aku nie pon...tk smpi seminggu...CONFIRM semua org tau ah!

haiz...manusiaaa....berubah lah...krn setiap manusia tu tak perfect...but setiap manusia diberi akal fikiran utk BERFIKIRAN MATANG DAN CERDIK~! dan BUKAN BERTINDAK MELULU BILA DICOCOK!!!

pesan aku satu jek..... JANGAN CEPAT MELATAH...BURUK PADAHNYER NANTI...

2009-09-23T21:34:00.003+08:00

pix taken during fasting month....more to come!

iftar at mawa

karaoke wif old n new fren...

2009-09-14T13:15:00.002+08:00

Dua insan sedang bercinta....
dua insan berjanji setia....
telah ku katakan padamu oh sayang...
hanya kuasa tuhan...
dapat memisahkan....

ahahahahah....out of all song yg me nyanyi...i put up tis song....really had fun yesterday...went karaoke-ing wif lynn & talib n da frens...celebrating talib's fren's bday...

all emotion were present in 1 day....hahahaha....

1stly...went to CGH to see zul tong...feel lyk crying sia but i managed to control ah kan by looking at his conditions....dia da sadar but takle bobal....cian aku tgk dia.....but wat makes me cry at last is his mum...walaupon mak zul kurang sihat tapi mak dia tetap setia ada disisinya....Oh god..may zul hav a speedy recovery....amin....

2ndly...after CGH...me n lynn walk arnd eastpoint to wait for BUKA PUASA tym....after grab nz ice-cream thickshake....off we go to GEYLANG!!! again....hahahahahaha.....smpi geylang we go and grab our SATAY BURGER 1st...den we eat nearby SINGPOST....after eating,asap-ing,lepaking...we went to perkampungan melayu as there is dikir amal there perform by all the dikir singapura ppl....my bro n cuzin was there too.....heheheheheh....caught in action! abg aku tak suka aku campor bdk dikir....n aku pon TAK SUKA DIA CAMPOR BUDAK POMPAN DIKIR YG MCM BITCH! *hmmm....puasa2 termarah plak*

after watchin dikir amal...met wif talib,idris n their fren at perkampungan's gerbang...me n lynn got no plan...n they oso no plan...heeheheh....aft much tym wasted waiting....me n lynn decide to jalan2 bazar and carik her air khatirah....at last she get her bandong khatira n me honeydew khatirah....POWER!!!! get it from mr teh tarik.... SEDAPPPP GILERRRR!!!!!

while jalan2 n wash eye *hehehe*....talib call lynn n say dat he's at the old artis corner foodcourt at perkampungan....so we went there sit wif him n his fren yan,john(i forget his real name) n oso his small brader yan oso.....

at abt 12am they going off to celebrate their fren MAN's bday...talib ask lynn along n lynn ask me to follow her....hmmmm....actually tanak pegi coz nnt nk alik leceh but kesian kan gf nyer pasal pegi jugakkkk.....

we went karaoke at CASH STUDIO @ MING ARCADE. we sing we laugh....terpekik pekik mcm org gila....yg nyanyi lagu jiwang mcm nak nangis pon ada...hehehehehe....

for me i sang more duet song...duet ngan talib n yan....ANDDDDD.....heehehhehehe....

b4 the story continue.....

do u all believe in "dari mata jatuh kehati"????

masa duet ngan yan(bukan adik talib)....tetiba mcm TER-eye contact plak....hahahhhahaah....smpi kene tegur dgn lynn main2 mata....hahahahaha....the 1st eye contact,makes me MELT!!!! seriously....IM MELTING!!!!! hahahahahaha....mepek..tau!

but i juz dunt noe y wen my eyes met his eyes...butterflies having fiesta in my stomach! haiz....talib...if u read tis blog...kip it to urself k.....hahahahahahah.....but seriously...he's cute! mcm carebear!!!!! lol....

wen im at home aku asik tersenyum sorg jek...even masa tgh tlg mum buat kueh pon ku senyum sendiri teringatkan peristiwa ming arcade....lol...

ini semua..... DARI KERANA MATAAAA....YANG MEMPUNYAI KUASAAAA....OHHHH.....AKU TERGODA.... hahahhahahaha......but its all happen in a glimpse of eyes....ntah bila aku leh jmp dorg semua agik.....haiz.....

2009-09-13T13:16:00.002+08:00

while helpin mum make kueh tart,here i am bloggin my thot for awhile...hahahahha....she still doin the dough....so curik2 to blog lah.....

yesterday..had fun meeting the kids at DARUL MAWA CHILDREN HOME and iftar wif them....miss yasmeen sooo much....

wat sadden me the most is seeing all my frens dat seems like STRANGERS wif each other....me as usual the most kecoh among all trying to cheer up all the moody peepz...catchin up with things dat i miss and some updates on our perjumpaan raya @ nanyang cc.

ada yg tak bertegur sapa...ada yg bermasam muka...mcm siak ah~! geram plak aku pikir2...smpi bila semua nak nie mcm??? korg semua tu da tua tau! sedar diri lah sikit...da nak raya nie....forgive and forget sua lah...kita kwn da lama k!

2009-09-01T10:32:00.002+08:00

Here i am at the head office all alone in this room....Mr Seng on MC n Mr Ismael is not here yet....cool huh...no government...but im kindda bored sia!

My morning really sucks k....i feel diff today!!! 1st,i had never wore any orange tudung b4 k....and yet i wear it today! 2ndly, i never went to werk wif SHOE...yet today i wear my shoe... 3rdly, im a lil bit late today! 4thly, i broke my shoe...i dunno how i broke it k....

mood turn off sia tis morning....dunt feel like doing my werk....hav to do blasting...listing of emails...memos...haiya....my pay very the ciput yet ask me to do dis and tat! "CEKIK DARAH ORG U NOE!!!"

2009-08-29T19:31:00.002+08:00

wah....its been ages since i last update my blog...i superr bz kay....

started to werk at head office already...so now my wkdays will miss ppl at jk...n guess wat...i miss out lotsss of things bout my hotline peeps k...n today......my blood level rise up to da sky sia wen i saw the new gal came in....been hearing lotttssss of story bout her kay...so i tot since i never saw her b4 i stay juz to see who da hell dis biatch is...coz they say since day 1 she start...been makin scene wif her bf.... coz now we got new STATUE infront of jk outlet...n dat is tis biatch boyfie...

so cut it short i waited till she come n at da same tym assist Faris...the moment she comes in...feel like vomitting sia lookin at her...or shld i say feel like spittin her face kay....hahahahaha....i tot she damn preety but end up my slipper much more betta den her face k....muka mintak kene tapak ngan slipar sia....

she start doin her werk i me,kip observing her....tink she noes dat i was observing her...she start showing attitude face...FCUKER btol! pantang sia aku lau org buat muka attitude!!! she act as if i got owe her sia! she's juz 17 yet look damn blardy older den me!!!! *hahahahah...at least i luk younger den her*

watch over her den submit report to mummy kinz....hahahaha...*feeling asst supervisor* lol...but i told mummy lah dat sumone say im the acting supervisor den i was kindda pissed wif her coz my intention juz wanna see who da hell she is...but they tot as if im replacing my supervisor!!! wth!!!

2009-08-03T18:29:00.001+08:00

Tetesan Air Cinta - Fuad Rahman & Azrin

Inikah balas cintamu kasihku
Dari dalamnya sayangku pada mu
Hingga teganya kau melukai
Kesungguhanku terhadap dirimu

Sandiwara apa yang kau mainkan
Hanya menambahkan kedukaan jiwa
Yang kau anggap cinta itu bukan cinta
Hanyalah gurauan yang pandai kau mainkan

Terbuai aku di sangkar madu
Manisnya cinta itu hanya semu
Di ibarat aku di padang tandus
Sendirian mengharapkan akan tetesan air cinta

Sudah puaskah kau menyakiti aku
Sudah puaskah kau melukai aku
Hingga ku kecewa
Sudah puaskah kau khianati aku
Sudah puaskah kau permainkan aku
Kini ku kecewa

2009-07-17T17:53:00.002+08:00

16 July 86...the day i was born to see tis world....
16 July 09...yesterday was the day....do i feel happy or i feel sad?

yesterday...i got no plans at all....1st intention was juz to lepak wif nad...den hamir buzz me on msn saying he got no plan as her gf was outstation...so i ask lah ware to go as i oso got no plan other den lepak wif nad...

aft much thot we decided to lepak at Kampong Glam Cafe @ Arab st. Asked Elly and the rest to join me,hamir and nad...those who turn up aft we reach kgc and we changed to El-sheikh @ pahang st was abg z and nora and ain...

hamir told us dat sani gonna mit his fren there.we went up den came haya who suprised hamir wif a bday cake...blow his candle and cut it...it was unexpected....but im happy for them....earlier on, me too received a SLICE of cake from Nora...was contented lah..happy...or shld i say kira ok lah tu...mcm terpaksa bagi jek...coz the way she gave me pon mcm terpaksa...hmmmm....human!

aft hamir cut his cake,we eat,laugh,chat,camwhoring den abg z and ain make a move to get a cake for kak aida as she's oso coming....off they go and we continue chat,laff and sheesha-ing...came kak aida n we camwhorin...then they ask me to open my cake and eat....was kindda sad or shld i say REALLY2 SAD as my caked was SMASHED!!!! THE CAKE DAH HANCUR! but to thnx dem i eat it and share it wif nad....I WAS SUPER SAD AT THAT POINT OF TIME...den we were told dat our food cant be cooked as they run out of cookin gas....hmmmm....so they plan to move to zain's cafe....was abt to pay bills wen haya realized dat she misplaced her wallet.search the whole place and the wallet nowhere to be found....we go off first and they go to nearby police station to make report.

reaching zain's cafe we waited for kak aida's bf...he reached den abg z open the cake they buy...the cake they say cost $70+...its a mix of few cheese cake....she blow the candle and they giv out the cake...a take a bite frm nad's cake. den we chat and drink den mum kip calling me to go home! so off i go home tompang nad on her bike.....and dats was my 1st tym to tompang a gal on a bike...we go together and back home together~! thnx nad...

but above all...im upset wif how im treated...but its ok lah....hmmmm....

2009-07-13T13:35:00.005+08:00

Congratz bestie on ur engagement...am honoured to be part of it...even thou its a small affair....it was sooo meriah n fun.....its been soooo long since we laugh our hearts out together....hahahahaha.....im happy for u bestie....me n ashwaq will be waiting for ur BIG DAY....

p/s: lucky i noe how to style up ur tudung....hahahaha....eventhou tak brapa kemas but u look simple yet gorgeous

2009-07-11T14:51:00.002+08:00

he whom i thot my other half is DEAD!!! yes DEAD!!!!
he's dead frm my memory, my life n my love for him has already wittered
together with evry memory that we have.

i hate u baby! i hate u soo much!
y i left him for u i dunt noe!
n now he dunt trust me no more
its all bcos of u!

2009-07-06T01:28:00.003+08:00

Habibi..
Kini hanya kau dihati ini
telah kuberikan hatiku ini
utk kau sayangi dan cintai
Dan jangan engkau sakiti

Habibi...
Ku menyintaimu sepenuh hatiku
Ku harap kau jua begitu
Agar hatiku dan hatimu
Bertaut menjadi satu

Habibi...
Aku bahagia disamping mu
Kau sentiasa ada utk ku
Bila takdir menyebelahi aku dan kamu
Dgn izinNYA kita akan bersatu

Habibi ku....aku menantikan saat itu.....

************************************************

Oh shit....im ssssooooo the jiwang sak!!! hahahahaha
T/C:0134hrs.... and im still not aslp....wth!!!

the kata kata above doesnt really rhymes but who cares....
it came out juz like dat....

*TAK PERNAH KU TERFIKIR UTK JATUH CINTA LAGI DENGANMU.. *

ps: habibi means beloved in arabic....

2009-07-05T12:37:00.003+08:00

dat was 5years back wen i started to hav crush on him....and now...he meant everyting to me...

u'll tink dat im crazy to be in a r'ship in short notice...but wat if i were to wait again...and im gonna lose him again....??? how???

the feeling of to really fall in luv is awesome...hahahahhaha....*so the jiwang* its been like a year plus since my last r'ship...and i had lost hopes into falling in luv...but i didnt xpect dat i would met him again and be wif him...

the memories during our sec sch days bout us is not much as both were too egoist to confessed to each other....end up i quit sch n lead my own way...he continue wif his study and still continuin his study in KEDAH *dats damn far* and now was on sch holiday BUT... he's goin back to KEDAH on 13th JULY 2009~~~~!!!!! and dat was like 3 days b4 my bday!!!!! but its ok lah...we gonna celebrate it earlier....

2009-06-23T11:42:00.003+08:00

Someone ask me bout my birthday,what do i wish for....
Dude... i wish for.....

1- Wish to be appreciated by my siblings n parents (hopefully they noe dat i do exist!)
2- Nikon SLR camera
3- IPod (classic/nano)
4- New hp
5- Digicam (this if I can’t get my slr)
6- Pink colour laptop bag (ever saw a lady using dat lappy bag! Its so chic!)
7- Roxy bag (the one i saw in kl @ the quicksilver boutique dpn lot10)
8- New skin for my lappy
9- New dress
10- Surprise party (hahahahah....mcm paham)

BUT IF I CANT GET IT....I'LL WORK HARD TO GET WHAT I WANT! CANT EVEN DEPEND ON MY SIBLINGS! THEY SUCKS BIG TIME! TO DEM I DUNT EXIST!

2009-06-22T17:13:00.002+08:00

things happen so accept the fact and move on....dats wat i believe in...but juz dunt noe y....the more i try to believe in dat,the more i wanna move on...the more frequent i woke up frm sleep crying..... y must i cry??? y shld i cry?? i dunt hav the ans to all my question....bloody hell!

he was the one dat start all this things...he's the one...and he's oso the one dat crash evryting...i dunt care watever his status is but y are u doing this to me?? am i ur doll dat u can ignore or play with as and when u like??? i got feeling too hunny...u cant do watever u like to me!

i've had enuff of ur shit! go on and kip quiet and be as rude as u want to me....i dun giv a farking hell bout it! thnx for treating me tis way n ignorin me.....u can go to hell if u want! i wanna be the one dat always there wen u nid but u r doing this then fine wif me! i dunt lose a thing arsehole!

i dunt noe y im sooo angry wif him.....argh! fcuk!!!!!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

2009-06-16T13:00:00.000+08:00

ST12 – Saat Terakhir

tak pernah terpikir olehku

tak sedikit pun ku bayangkan

kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

begitu sulit ku bayangkan

begitu sakit ku rasakan

kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

* di bawah batu nisan kini kau tlah sandarkan

kasih sayang kamu begitu dalam

sungguh ku tak sanggup ini terjadi

karna ku sangat cinta

** ini lah saat terakhirku melihat kamu

jatuh air mataku menangis pilu

hanya mampu ucapkan selamat jalan kasih

satu jam saja ku telah bisa

cintai kamu kamu kamu di hatiku

namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup

satu jam saja ku telah bisa

sayangi kamu di hatiku

namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup

di nantiku

repeat **

satu jam saja ku telah bisa

cintai kamu kamu kamu di hatiku

namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup

satu jam saja ku telah bisa

sayangi kamu di hatiku

namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup

2009-06-14T00:13:00.004+08:00

im soooo damn tired today.....dunno y...maybe due to not enuff sleep....haiz....damn tired~!!!!!!!!!!!!

today went to werk at Canadian frm 1730-2300hrs....and tomorrow oso working....gosh! luckily Monday im in the aft shift.....but i luvv my shift for tomorrow....hahahahaha..... 1630-2030hrs....the hr is damn short...but nvm....as long as u kip the money rolling.....hahahahaha

juz now plan wif mummy kin and has to go karaoke....but dunno when....hmmmmmm......once got money then we go lor.....hhehehehehe.....

those girls at work is sooo freaking obsessed with TAGGED,FACEBOOK and BLOGGER.....hmmmmm....i wonder did they update EVERYDAY???? hahahahahaha..... i only go online on FB juz to play games....hahahaha....n comment on ppl status....hehehehehe......to be freaking obsessed with it....hmmmm....TIME LAMBAT AH!!! MALAS aku....hehehehhe......

thou I'm tired but i can slp....got lots of things to update actually but maybe later part in the wee hrs I'll update again.....

im bored

2009-06-09T11:29:00.006+08:00

wat a booooooooring tuesday!!!!!werking early in the morning and got nuting to do....dammit!Amalllllliiiiaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!! cpt lah dtg....aku boring lar.....tak best tau keje sorg2....

im kindda pissed off tis morning pasal teringat apa si dektu panggil aku....ada ker patut panggil aku bangkai??? suka hati mak bapak tiri dia jek nak memBANGKAIkan aku...penat2 mak aku wat kenduri nak menamakan aku...dia plak sesuka hati dia jek nak panggil aku tu mcm.....ishk!!!! geram geram geram!!!!!!

im damn bored yesterday

amal giler...step bz....padahal tgh upload blog.....hahahahaha

knapalah org suka nak sakit kan hati aku lately nie,.....tak paham ah!!!! yg mana jantan tak reti bahasa....dah aku kata kita tak ada apa2 ikatan yg dia nak kecoh asal pon aku tak tau.....geram3.....

but heck care lah....today i got class....new module....must study hard....hahahahaha.....actually its my fav lecturer class....Mr DAVID GOH!!!! hahahaha.....i like his mode of teaching eventhou sumtimes he's kindda strict!

Argh!

2009-06-04T20:53:00.002+08:00

Im bored,im sick and im tired!
I wanna find a permanent and stable job!!!!
I thot i can handle 2 part time job but its
juz the 1st week and im soooo tired!!!!
Goddammit!!!!

take a break

2009-06-01T12:56:00.004+08:00

"i wanna take a break"...dat wat i told aisya yesterday...aku kene take a break before aku buat kecoh lagik...my emotional rides has hit the bumpy road now...

maaf telah ku pinta atas kesilapan yg telah ku lakukan padanya...tapi si dia hanya diam seribu bahasa....aku sedar akan kesilapan yg kulakukan...maafkan aku kerna telah menamparmu...aku tak dapat mengawal emosi dan amarahku...memang aku pantang kalau dijerit dan dibebel sebegitu...dan kepantasan tgnku ini menamparmu mmg tak kusangkakan...setan mana ntah yg dah merasuk diriku ini pon aku tak tahu.

tiada niat utk ku menamparmu...sungguh!!! utk sekian kalinya aku memohon maaf...i really dunt mean it....aku tau tahap ego aku tinggi tapi aku telah merendahkan ego ku dan meminta maaf...tapi sekiranya kau tak ingin memaafkan ku....apalah dayaku....

haiz......bnyk yg telah terjadi kepada diriku...kadangkala aku terasa seperti benoka mainan yg tak bertuan...bila mereka menginginkan ku...akan berguna lah aku pada mereka....tapi jika tak diinginkan....aku dicampak ketepi....haiz...aku tak ingin menjadi seperti itu...aku tak ingin menjadi boneka tak bernyawa...aku ingin hidup dan bahagia seperti org lain...tapi....mengapa harus aku tempuhi semua ini....

so...utk dipendekkn cerita....aku nak take a break...FROM EVERYTHING AND FROM EVERYONE! nak hibernate for the tym being....dah penat nak lalui semua nie....

quote

2009-06-01T10:51:00.000+08:00

Somewhere Between All Our Laughs, Long Talks, Stupid Little Fights And All Our Jokes, I Fell In Luv

i juz luv tis quote...dunno y....hmmmmmm

make up and tudung trial done by TINI frm LBG

2009-05-25T16:21:00.005+08:00

Onced

2009-05-24T23:21:00.000+08:00

~ Thnx alot vato....i really luv it~

Onced….
Onced….
For you smiled in deepest oceans depth….
Melodies of heart beats mount every hill….
Gushing in savory of wildest dreams….

Fo in times of tears shan’t there be a smile….
In light of need….
Not there be….
Faith in her…. Faith in her….

Osmosis with such color….
Her walls stand tall….
Only us bridging those sentries’

Lay a brick with her hands….
Earth was her….

Her veil….
Lives in the winds….

He in search of herself….
Her shall be there….

Vato.

Quote frm a fren

2009-05-21T01:46:00.001+08:00

kini aku sayu...
kerna punca kata kata hati mu..
terbit matahari...
mencurah kan sinaran...
kembang si bunga di taman
izin kan beta memetik nya
untuk gadis jelita putri hannah..

tis is from vato aft he read my blog....hahahhahaha....spontaneously done.....steady lah kambing....pandai jugak u nie kan....hehehehehe

Apa guna berjanji

2009-05-17T13:07:00.002+08:00

" apa guna berjanji...kalau tak ditepati....kelak meracun hati...tuan sendiri...menggigit jari....jangan main asmara...bukan mudah bercinta....yang ditunggu tak tiba....tidur tak lena...mandi tak basah....."

tis song been playing since tis morning....dunno y....hahahahahaha......

Its Been So long.....

2009-05-17T13:00:00.002+08:00

Dah lama ku tak mencurahkan isi hatiku disini.....bnyk yg telah terjadi....sehingga aku sendiri tak ingin mengingatinya lagik.....dia yg kuharapkan rupanya hanya berdusta....ku pasrah....

Ah biarlah dia bersama dunianya...aku tak kuasa memikirkan tentangnya...cukuplah kini kita sekadar sahabat...alhamdulillah aku tak menaruh harapan yang tinggi padanya...jika tidak....hancur luluh hatiku ini....

dan si diatu yg menasihatiku tentang si dia, kini semakin jauh....haiz....kenapa ku tak diberi peluang utk bahagia....

adakah bahagia bukan milik ku??

Megharap Pada Sesuatu Yang Tak Pasti

2009-04-29T22:26:00.002+08:00

Aku masih menanti
pada sesuatu yang tak pasti
apakah kesudahannya??
adakah kecewa ataupon sebaliknya??

Aku masih menaruh harapan
pada si dia tapi tak pasti
sering ku tertanya sampai kapan
mengejar si dia,cintaku sampai mati

Adakah cinta ini akan terus mekar
bak bunga yang segar
ataupon adakah ia akan layu
supaya cinta ini akan terkubur dengan hati yang sayu....

Thnx to kak tini for helping me wif tis...and oso abg z for edit it for me.....luv u peepz lots!

KITA

2009-04-18T13:54:00.003+08:00

Kita semakin jauh
jauh terpisah
kau leka bersama dunia mu
dan aku disini tetap setia menantimu

kita pernah akrab dahulu
tapi kini kau semakin jauh dariku
apa punca keretakkn ini
aku masih mencari kesilapan diri

Kita...kenalan...
kita...rapat...
kita...ego...
kita...menyesal...

kita pernah sekali bersua muka
tetapi perkenalan ini telah menjadikan kita akrab
sehinggakan aku mula tertarik padamu
tapi sayangnya kini kau jauh dariku

ku tetap disini
setia menanti...

Cinta Adam dan Hawa

2009-04-17T04:55:00.000+08:00

Cinta adam dan hawa
Terbit di syurga terang di jiwa
Menggerakkan nurani
Mencari kasih suci
Sehingga kita yg tertinggal saling damba
Sentiasa rasa sunyi bersendiri

Mana dia kekasih hati
Mana dia pujaan ku yang sejati
Dengarlah bisikan asmaraku

c/o
Cinta adam dan hawa
Satu bersama satu terpisah
Buat diriku tertanya-tanya
Cinta adam dan hawa
Satu harapan, satu sandaran
Buat diriku rindukan dia

Kau yang aku puja
Kau yg aku cinta.....oh
Kasihku di Firdausi

Cinta adam dan hawa
Terbit di syurga terang di jiwa
Menjadi saksi impian murni

AKU

2009-04-17T04:34:00.003+08:00

Kini aku sepi
Jiwaku kosong lagi
tiada mahu ku menangis lagi
tak ingin hati disakiti

jgn lah kau datang menghantui ku lagi
aku bahagia dgn keadaan ku kini
bahagia disamping keluarga yg dicintai
dan yg menyayangi diri ini

ku tak perlukan mu disisi
yg hanya akan menyakiti hati ini
aku muak dgn janji manismu
yang ternyata kosong dan palsu

aku terima takdir nasibku
mengarungi dunia yg penuh liku
tak pernah ku mendabik dada dgnmu
ku pasrah atas ketentuanNYA untukku

Hati...

2009-04-15T11:37:00.000+08:00

Hatiku Sepi
Hatiku Mati
adakah hatiku ini utk disakiti
dilukai berkali kali

seringkali aku menjadikan penyebabnya
persengketaan yang terjadi antara kita
kau tak pernah ingin mengaku
persengketaan itu berpunca dirimu

cukup lah hati ini kau sakiti
aku dah tak berdaya lagi
untuk menanggung penderitaan ini
hancur sudah hatiku kini

pergilah kau tinggalkan ku sendiri
aku benci melihat wajahmu kini
sakit hatiku tak mungkin terubati
kerana ia telah musnah kini

hancur sudah impianku...

2009-04-15T00:33:00.002+08:00

Jiwaku mati
Hatiku sepi
Hatiku sudah berdarah
Impianku hancur dan musnah

kau yg kusayangi
pergi meninggalkan ku sendiri
kini aku kesepian lagi
sambil merawat luka dihati

Impianku utk bersamamu
kini hanya tinggal kenangan buatku
kau pergi meninggalkanku
untuk bersama cinta barumu

Apakah ini takdirku
apakah hatiku hanya utk disakiti mu
ku berharap kau gembira bersama kekasihmu
kenangan kita akan ku simpan hingga ke hujung nyawaku

Khayalan Sang Puteri

2009-04-14T16:23:00.002+08:00

Biarlah disini hatiku berbicara.....tentang hati,perasaan dan cintaku yg tak pernah kesampaian.....

Biarlah disini hatiku berbisik.....tetang rindu,sayang,kasih,benci dan dendam yg slalu tersimpan.....

Biarlah disini hatiku dan khayalanku mekar bersama segala impianku....

Biarkan Sang puteri berkhayal disini.....