i wanna scream out loud~~!!! i wanna let out evrything dat has been touturing my mind lately...!!! y cant ppl accept changes?? or y can the be happy seeing their frens changing to a better ones.... i juz dunt noe y....

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msn-ing wif dee yesterday...was askin him wether hav he ever luv me wen were were together a year plus ago...and he said yes...im kindda like dont believe wat he said coz...if sumone truly luv u...obviously u can feel it rite? but with him i dunno...i dunno y... i noe im nearly like goin crazy tryin to forget him n moving on with life but i juz cant....i try to luv other guys or like other guys but he still in my mind... i miss being in his arms...eventhou we didnt noe each other quite long but we r virtual fren for quite sumtimes....i still remember noeing him from ANAKMELAYU.COM ...

aft mths of exchanging calls n sms...we finally mit up....after the 1st mit...i dunno y...wen he ask me to be his gf i was like...OK..its like so easy for me to accept him...even thou we seldom mit...still we call or text each other as often as possible...both of us was werking in the shift line last tym....me in the call cnter n he in the nightlife line....i was kindda not agree wif his job actually....wich girls would want her boifie to be surrounded by girls! hisshhh!

as days goes by...we start to get super bz wif werk...no mit ups for mths...and he oso seldom return any of my calls or sms....i was super fucked up!im angry wif him... one of the wkend morning i call him up aft my nite shift...n usually he's already back home and about going to slp...but today...i feel uneasy wen i call him....1st 2 calls went unanswered...i text him....no rply....i call him again...den the nightmare started...a girl pick up his fone...i put down w/o saying anyting...den i called again coz i tot i dialled the wrong num earlier on...a girl picked up the fone...the same girl...den i ask...who is she...she said his fren...i ask ware were them...and guess wat...she juz say like as if nutin is wrong..."we r at pangkeng n he's aslp". i was like WTF!..put down the fone and i cried.. i noe dat dis thing gonna happen sooner or later but i didnt xpect it to happen during our 2mthsary... my intention to call him was to suprised him at his place but end up im the one getting suprised! fuck!!from dat day...i totally ignore him...i was so angry...coz he didnt even explain or appologize..so wen im cooled down...i text him for the break up....

but few mths aft the break up...we kip in touch again...i wasnt hoping for him at dat tym...coz i tried to forget bout him but i cant...so wen he came back to my life as a fren...i was sooo happy....i start to pinned up hopes on him....was hoping for him to changed for the better....now he no longer werkin in nitelife...he found a stable job n already changed his bike...

and yesterday while msning wif him....he said "of coz i still luv u...u crazy girl!" den i said " yes i nearly gone mad trying to forget bout us...bout u! bout wat u did! i can forgive but to forget? i dunno" den he suddenly said "den y dunt u cum back to me?" i was like WTF... r u crazy...trying to fool me? he said dat he wasnt playin a prank...but to me...i was so happy wen he said dat...but is he really sincere in askin me to cum back? im still thinkin bout it...

today was suppose to mit him up to talk bout tis...nid sum explanation frm him thou but he paitao...he bubble again...at 1st wen he was about to go out...heavy rain start to pour...den i demand him to cum but thinkin bout his ways of riding i said dunt cum...he said call him back in 15min to see wether the rain will stop or not....but end up he fall aslp n make me wait at werk like fool! stupid arse!! so angry wif him today!

so now...while bloggin...i kip thinkin of wether shld i giv him any chances? i dunt wanna get heartbroken AGAIN!
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y..wen we luv dat sumone....its hard for us to get him....but wen we dunt luv dat sumone...he will start to beggin for us?

izzit true dat be with sumone dat luvs u is better den sumone u luv...????

and...if u luv sumthing...let it go coz it was never meant to be yours and if its cuming back to u...it was meant to be yours? izzit true???